Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
Now, this is interesting--perhaps we can pull people back into the thread here. How many have *not* accepted unacceptable things, because of the pressure to "save face" in front of others, and appear as if everything is fine?
I hadn't thought of that in my own situation--I just assumed that most people do try and accept the shit that's going down in their lives, even if it takes time, as shakran said earlier.
But saving face is something else altogether--that attitude is certainly prominent in my own Asian family, though my mother has put a lot of effort into being able to communicate about these things instead of staying reserved (not that it's helped her to move on that much, but at least she can talk about it). I never thought about Icelandic society as having a "saving face" mentality, but it makes more sense, the more I think about it.
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I find myself starting a lot of posts with this sentence now (but it's one of the things I've accepted):
At this point in my life I find I'm teetering between being a "man" and actually being one. My actions still don't completely match what I preach, or at least what I set before myself, but I try my best. But this subject, the idea of dealing with, and not holding onto things that are overwhelmingly hard to deal with, has become something of a problem lately.
My dad had a stroke in the fall which was a kick in the guts (it was also the first time I had cried in a long time), I left school to pursue a passion, I left my first really substantial relationship (others seemed important but in hindsight they weren't close to this one), and I'm moving to a large city filled with big scary people.
I'll throw this out there. Accepting the Unacceptable doesn't always have to be negative does it?
In my case I dealt with the bad much better then dealing with the overwhelmingly good. My father and I have grown closer, I moved on from my relationship with grace, and I'm becoming a better person which is something I can see everyday. On the other hand I find the things that I'm presented with, like opportunities, far more daunting. I can't understand how I am in this position, I don't understand why I was given the chance, etc. And even though the more I try to force my mind around the fact that I might be succeeding, and the more I own it, there is still a little voice in the back of my head. I don't know if that voice is a good thing; perhaps it'll propel me further.
Those are just the things I've worked through. There are several fairly petty but very large problems that bother me on a daily basis. I can't get over them; I do try. That's where my age comes in, it's just a level of immaturity; it'll pass.
That was scattered and lacked cohesion. hahaha sorry.