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I watched my dad die slowly this past May, after watching his muscles slowly degrade over twelve years thanks to a nasty neuromuscular disease called inclusion body myositis. It's been wholly unacceptable to me for over a decade. I'm honestly still working to adjust to the latest unacceptable fact that he died, at only 62.
When unacceptable and unchangeable things happen to you you just.. .Live with it. There's obviously nothing you can do about it, and so you either eventually adjust or you do not. At the risk of sounding overly zen, I think that setting a GOAL to deal with the unacceptable situation actually makes it harder, because you're going to feel about it, what you're going to feel about it, and your emotions really don't give a crap about any timetable you might set as a goal to have your feelings worked through by.
For me, to sound like a bad cliche, it's one day at a time, and when I no longer feel crappy about Dad being gone, then I'll no longer feel crappy. That may never happen, and it may happen tomorrow. I don't know, and dwelling on the question of "when" would, I think, make dealing with this, far worse.
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