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This is a fascinating topic.
Both of my marriages were based on all funds being pooled, all major purchase decisions faced together. I did secretly keep a small account (back when insurance was 80/20 and you'd have to file claims to get reimbursed) where I deposited all medical insurance checks. I must've seen the writing on the wall.
In my last live-in relationship, we had separate accounts, but he always was frank and open about all of his accounts (so I never had the opportunity to ask, even if I wanted to) and where his money went. He never asked about mine, but I never hid anything from him.
If I were to have another serious relationship or even decide to marry, I think at this point we'd probably maintain the existing accounts we each have and possibly open some joint accounts. I'd always thought a couple should keep things together, maybe as a show of faith or commitment to the relationship. I'm not quite sure if that's so or if it makes a difference in any way. But I don't think I'd ever choose a mate that would be controlling enough to make me account for my expenditures without good reason (me falling financially on my face) and I would want him to have that same freedom.
Maybe it all comes down to trust. Conjecture only, I'm thinking out loud: Maybe when I was younger, I needed the reassurance that money wasn't being spent elsewhere and now that I'm older, I would never fall into a relationship where the trust wasn't there?
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
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