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Old 07-29-2008, 05:51 AM   #12 (permalink)
toaster_oven
Banned
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Borla View Post
So you'll risk your life for her, cross boundaries of comfort for her, but it's just too much to ask to forget this particular fantasy at her request? Isn't that much simpler than dying for her?

Thanks everyone for the replies. I thought I followed up on this this morning but it doesn't appear to have posted so I'll write it again.

I think Borla you hit the nail on the head. I don't think my logic was necessarily flawed, but it was certainly too black and white.

My logic was this: If she wanted to try something sexual then I would not deny her, and that means I am not being selfish. Turning that around, I thought that if she also was not selfish, then she would try things out with me.

So I linked 'unselfishness' to 'willing to try anything' because I think I would be willing, so that made sense to me. It didn't click in my head that 'willing to try anything' also includes 'NOT doing something' and in this case, that something is bringing up other women, or mentioning the taxi. I didn't fully realize that she was really asking me to do something for her (that is not bringing it up) in the same way that I could have been asking for her to do something for me.

I guess part of it was because I had probably read too much into it, and from the beginning I got the impression that a threesome was something she would like to do. She told me about kissing her best friend, she likes women in porn just as much as men, she wanted us to go to strip clubs together, and she had mentioned the possibility when we went overseas. I don't want to sound like 'But we had a deal and you're going back on your word!', but I guess I was always expecting this to happen, and now I'm seeing that for some reason, it may have been something she thought about at the time but does not want to do now, or I could have pushed it too hard, any number of reasons.

I'm 100% comfortable with her and if she suggested something for the bedroom I would probably give it as much thought as I would to deciding what to have for dinner that night, that is, I'd be up to try anything. I guess that's just me though. I accept that this isn't something she wants to do and I don't hold that against her.

Sorry, I had a much better written post this morning and I really wish it had posted properly.

Just for the record I suppose, the kissing in the taxi did happen, when she first told me she also called her friend to let her know that she had told me, as they had never told anybody before. So it wasn't to show off or for a group of other people or anything like that.
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