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In this situation, it may be helpful to ask yourself, "What does my family mean to me?"
Someone very dear to me has a quite dysfunctional family. Her parents have been married and divorced four times, each. They keep telling her that they love her, but continually do and say hateful things to her. For many years, she tried to stay close, to see them as good, loving people, and repeatedly had her heart broken by them.
My advice has always been to stay away, let them fester in their hatred. But she kept on running, every time they called. Finally, enough was enough. First, she excluded her father from all aspects of her life. She cried often over this, but has stuck by her guns. She has finally, recently, conceded that her mother, in her way, was no better than her father, and has severed all but the most rudimentary of communication.
She decided that her life was much better, happier, when she surrounded herself with truly caring friends, and excluded the poisonous relationships. Lately, she is the happiest I've seen her in over 30 years! She still has melancholy times, and mourns what should have been a happier family life. But when she looks at what she has since she made her choices, her joy returns.
While there is a sadness that you cannot have a full, happy family relationship, distancing yourself from those negative influences can free you to truly pursue your joy.Your are reaching a realization at a much younger age than my friend. I wish you a long life of close, loving relationships. Having your paternal grandmother as an anchor is a wonderful thing. Cling to her with all of your heart!
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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
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