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I know how you feel, my fiances parents took a long time to warm up to me.
I have been dating my fiance for 5 years now as well. In the beginning you could tell they were not fond of me. He comes from a very religious, christian based family (I am agnostic, tho I was raised Lutheran). One of the first questions they asked him about me when he said there was a girl he was interested in was "does she go to church" Now I was his first girlfriend he was a geek and I dont think he ever looked at girls really before me. Well to cut to the chase he told them no. Their response was "hmmm that bothers us" For the next 2 years we were constantly accused of having sex constantly when in fact we actually waited a year, but that was none of their business. On top of this I knew his lil sis was having sex, even before we were, in her room no less. I would walk by her room and see her and her now fiance going at it, she was only 16 at the time.
Finally one night I had enough of her accusing us. im2smrt4u gave me the look I knew meant if you have something to say say it now. So I did. I went off on his mom told her I was not a whore, and that from the beginning shes been accusing us of having sex and that I resented it. I also told her that if he and I were going to be having sex it was OUR business and not hers. I told her my parents trusted us to hang out in my room with the door closed and did not check on us constantly. Well, aside from the fact that his mom did say it was her business if her son had sex because he was her son and lived under her roof, things went better after that.
I have yelled at her only one other time. I will have to say it has made our relationship better (his mom and I). I think she realized I am here to stay and after the first argument she did tell me that she thot I was very good for her son and she did like me.
Now I'm not suggesting you yell at his parents/family the way that I did. However, it may be important that they know the way you feel and maybe there is something that you don't know about them. The same night as the first fight I also told them about the abuse by my brother when I was little, which helped explain alot to them inc why I wasn't religious. I know they were around while your parents divorce was going on but maybe they need to hear how they helped you and how everything during that time affected you and influenced your actions.
I hope things go better for you. If you love him and he loves you ultimately that is all that matters. I remember being mad that my fiance wasn't standing up for me, then I realized how hard it must be for him to have to choose between to people he loved and that his mom is difficult and wouldn't understand if he tried to defend me.
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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey
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