You have to let it go. You and Jon are straight, ya? That's what matters.
Sometimes people don't 'get' us or understand a situation. That's not your problem; it's theirs. And, most likely, your perception might be a bit skewed.
You've referenced your cynicism and anger with them multiple times. You've even said
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not a day goes by that I don't look at Jon and feel terrible about this.
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If he's over it, shouldn't you be?
When his family is involved, put the past behind you and do your best to be civil. You could confront his sister and talk it all out, but she may not be receptive. If you can maintain civility and show that you're not out to hurt her family or her brother, you'll both laugh at the past one day.
But running away and hiding just perpetuates any ill feelings that might remain within his family. Let go of your guilt. It's not doing anything good for anyone.