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Your bassist is an asshole for throwing you into this mess and you didn't make the best choice by agreeing to it.
But you asked for help, not what I think you should have done. It's not going to be easy any way you say it, so be straightforward rather than ambiguous. Tell her that you're interested in continuing to see her, but that you're not comfortable being together if she's unwilling to leave an abusive relationship. Let her know that you will help if she asks, but that it has to be her decision.
Then enjoy the rebound action you get from being her knight in shining armor before she ends up back with him because if she isn't willing to offend someone who abuses her by leaving him, she's not going to change. She is hesitating because she still has feelings for him and is too naive to realize that he's not going to change.
As for your friend who introduced you, wait until she goes back to the abusive guy then punch him in the cock, thank him for dumping his family problems on you, and kick him out of the band because he's going to blame anything that happens to her, on you, for failing to fix the problems he can't.
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