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It does sound a bit messy.
I think that she probably has to make her mind up what she wants to do, and you probably have to try and force her to do so in a non-aggressive way.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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