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abaya · 07-01-2008, 10:13 AM

In our building, we share an entrance/stairway with 3 other apartments. I didn't think the walls were that thin until we got some new neighbors upstairs with a young-ish kid (probably around 3-4 years old, no idea though). Scandinavians abstain from carpet, so there isn't much of a sound buffer between what we hear through our ceiling (a lot).

Now, since I pretty much work from home all day, every day, and there isn't a lot of other sound in the building... my ear has become attuned to everything going on upstairs. And that kid cries A LOT. Must be at least five times a day I hear it (not sure what gender) wailing about something or another, and it bloody gets on my nerves. The parents are ALWAYS soothing it, never scolding it (so Icelandic). Thing is--and I don't have much experience with kids, so forgive me if I am wrong--the crying sounds pretty fake. I've heard that sound before, and I remember crying like that myself as a kid, specifically to get attention.

So my question is, why do some parents tolerate the fake crying and indulge it, when clearly the kid is bullshitting, manipulative, and getting affirmed for those behaviors? I heard a friend of mine's kid doing that (he was 5) for some asinine reason (not getting his dessert or something), and I called him on it right there at the dinner table... I looked at him, smiled, and said, "That's not real crying." He stared blankly at me. At least it shut him up!

I swear, though, unless my future kid (not toddler or baby--I understand that they cry because they have no other way to communicate) falls down, is emotionally wounded, or is otherwise truly in pain or feeling stressed, I am not going to put up with that shit. There will be direct consequences for manipulative crying (if ignoring doesn't work), and they will happen immediately. Maybe I am being naive here, but it gets on my nerves so much... I just can't imagine any other response.

Parents? Thoughts?

07-01-2008, 10:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Kids' fake crying In our building, we share an entrance/stairway with 3 other apartments. I didn't think the walls were that thin until we got some new neighbors upstairs with a young-ish kid (probably around 3-4 years old, no idea though). Scandinavians abstain from carpet, so there isn't much of a sound buffer between what we hear through our ceiling (a lot). Now, since I pretty much work from home all day, every day, and there isn't a lot of other sound in the building... my ear has become attuned to everything going on upstairs. And that kid cries A LOT. Must be at least five times a day I hear it (not sure what gender) wailing about something or another, and it bloody gets on my nerves. The parents are ALWAYS soothing it, never scolding it (so Icelandic). Thing is--and I don't have much experience with kids, so forgive me if I am wrong--the crying sounds pretty fake. I've heard that sound before, and I remember crying like that myself as a kid, specifically to get attention. So my question is, why do some parents tolerate the fake crying and indulge it, when clearly the kid is bullshitting, manipulative, and getting affirmed for those behaviors? I heard a friend of mine's kid doing that (he was 5) for some asinine reason (not getting his dessert or something), and I called him on it right there at the dinner table... I looked at him, smiled, and said, "That's not real crying." He stared blankly at me. At least it shut him up! I swear, though, unless my future kid (not toddler or baby--I understand that they cry because they have no other way to communicate) falls down, is emotionally wounded, or is otherwise truly in pain or feeling stressed, I am not going to put up with that shit. There will be direct consequences for manipulative crying (if ignoring doesn't work), and they will happen immediately. Maybe I am being naive here, but it gets on my nerves so much... I just can't imagine any other response. Parents? Thoughts? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran