Martian's advice is excellent. Having empathy for one's partner is key, I think. It's an issue I've had to deal with in my own relationship.
On your desire to pursue couples counseling, I would advise you to see what your college has on offer as regards to psychological services. I know my university offers 10 visits with a University Psychological and Counseling Services therapist a term, paid via student fees. Most universities have similar services--take advantage of it, because more than likely you're paying for it somehow anyways.
Also, if either of you have health insurance, most good health insurance plans cover some kind of mental health service as well. This can extend to couples counseling.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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