Jozrael

If this is in the wrong section, apologies!

Heyas =). Long time lurker, though I posted a bit awhiles back. I think I might have even posted once about this before. Regardless:

(Note: I, Krystan (the girlfriend), am helping compose this).

My girlfriend and I have been together two years this June 22nd. It's been a great ride, and we don't want it to end. At many times over the course of this period, we have had problems (which relationship doesn't?). They range from the trivial to the sexual to the financial to the whatever.

The real problem with us is how do we deal with our problems. Each of us has our flaws, but we each have a particular one when it comes to compromising.

We're both very hard-headed, but in opposite ways. I'm hard-headed when it comes to...groups, I guess, while she's hard-headed one on one. For example.

If it's just me and her, and we're having a disagreement, if each of us cares about it enough, she will almost always 'win'. I know it's not about that, but just for ease of description I'll call it 'winning' and 'losing'. Whoever gets their way most, compromises the least. There are occasional exceptions.

However, I have a matching flaw that irks her as well. If there's something she suggests for me to do or do differently, and a separate person is nearby and joins in on her side, it changes the way I look at it. I kind of see it as being 'ganged up on', and grow exceedingly resistant to changing my opinion whatsoever.

I'm also better at vocalizing my thoughts and emotions, so I have an unfair edge at times in these arguments. While not perfect, I'm better at it than her, which can make her feel inferior.

One very important way that her stubbornness affects our relationship is that I like to give advice (I learned this from some role models in my life). I feel that I have a lot of very useful information to impart to her and can get annoyed when she doesn't take it into consideration. That's my flaw.

Her flaw is that she rarely (in her words, never) actually takes my advice into consideration. At some later point she might see the benefit of my words, but then she is able to justify it to herself in a way that it's not really taking my advice.

Alright, now that you have the background, it boils down to this. The real friction in our relationship comes from the one on one stubbornness (mine is something I need to work on, but it's not the immediate source for most of our arguments).

She knows that she needs to learn to compromise. Every time we argue, she says that it'll be different the next time because she'll realize that it's not a big deal and that she'll be able to compromise. Then next time comes, and... ferocious cycle. D: (<- worded by the girlfriend herself)

We're in a big cycle, and we both want to break out of it.

Any ideas? =D?

If there's any more information I can provide, I will gladly do so. Thanks for your time.

EDIT: Some more information. I'm 20, she's 18. We both would like to do couple's counseling (if not now, in the future, even if there's no problems. Just seems like an intelligent thing to do), but lack the means to do so right now (college for both of us = expensive).