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From all my observations and conversations, I've finally come to certain conclusions about dating. Mostly, I agree with other articles about dating that I've posted. If you haven't read them yet you should, their points are relevant to all of us and I find it hard to refute even a single one of them. That being said, from what I've observed the consequences of dating capriciously and before you're ready are not worth any of the benefits.
From the article that I've included you can see that dating can have many consequences from alienating your friends, loosing part of yourself to hurting others. Unless you're going to marry the person you're dating you're eventually going to break up and that will result in pain and suffering, if not for you then for the person you're dating. Is the pleasure that comes from dating someone really worth the pain of a breakup? Of course, to gain something you have to take a risk, but make sure its a wise risk. In many ways dating is like a drug which can cause the utmost bliss, but at the same time can have even worse side effects.
But isn't dating okay if you dot get too involved? After all, if you aren't physically involved, wont that prevent many of the consequences? However, how do you start a relationship and then not get too involved? Once you start dating someone you will have to spend more and more time with them, and you will probably enjoy spending time with the person, but frequently it will end up just being the two of you and you will alienate other people. If you get too involved you will no longer be defined just as yourself, but rather you will be known as a couple. I've seen it happen to people. More so, if you are dating someone it very likely that the relationship will become physical as hormones are a very powerful force and it becomes very easy to cross many lines which you may later regret, and that doesn't mean just sex. It may mean just kissing or "fooling around." Once you've done anything, you will have those memories forever and they will come back to haunt you in future relationships.
If you do decide to date I believe that eventually you will end up at one of two extremes. Either you will be someone who is dating someone new every month or you will be someone who gives yourself completely to the person who you're dating and that person will become your world. You may not be at either of these extremes initially, but if you start a relationship eventually it will become more and more serious unless you end it in which case you'll probably end up starting another one. If you see nothing wrong with dating a new person every month, reread the previous article and then reread it again. If you're wiling to go all out with the person that you are dating you had better understand what the means. That means that you will be spending most of your time with that person and you will be committed to them. You wont be spending as much time with your friends and most likely you will end being know in terms of your relationship with that person rather than as yourself. Don't forget that unless you are going to marry that person there will A LOT OF PAIN when you do break up.
So then what should you do if you do like someone? You should get to know them better and stay friends, but no more than that. If you enjoy hanging out with someone then hang out with them, but there is no reason for you to have to date them. I know this is easy to say, and you may not believe it until you've seen or suffered some of the consequences. However, there are many consequences and you had better know them before you get into a relationship. If after knowing all the possible consequences, you still think the benefits are worth it, and they may be, then and only then should you start a relationship.
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What do you guys think of what this guy says? Is he a total prude? it is VERY VERY conservative.
I think that this guy doesn't seem to believe in the win-win situation. Everything has to be lose-lose. My friend says that the girl has to be a total nut to have to fit into the mold this guy casts.
I believe that although he sounds prudish, it does make sense. You don't want to hurt people in relationships, and girls do tend to get attached. Someone must hurt after a while, unless it was purely physical to begin with.
I also think it depends on the girl in question; how much they get attached, how much they wanted to just use you (for your body, etc), and other factors.
What do you think?