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Originally Posted by sunshine16
What do you mean Jinn? What do you deserve?
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I can't speak for Jinn, but what I got from his question was: How do you value yourself? Why are/have you been putting up with a demeaning circumstance?
I believe that, ultimately, we end up in a relationship that reflects our self-love. We can often undervalue ourselves into a relationship from hell, and let ourselves be trapped. Hopefully, we recognize the bad situation and find a safe, positive way out and into the life we really feeds our emotional and spiritual needs.
Your OP suggests that you've reached your realization, and are looking for support, and ideas, to help you move on. Congratulations
I say: MOVE QUICKLY!!! Lay the groundwork, find a place to stay, give your notice, schedule to cut off the utilities, and never, never, NEVER be alone with him again. Have multiple companions at all times. Get a new cell phone number. Leave no forwarding address. Be prepared to get a court order to keep him away. (I sincerely hope that you won't need one, though.)
God bless you, sunshine. Ray Davies said this years ago:
"Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.
Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.
It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.
I know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things."