My girlfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now and we've a pretty great relationship with lots of love and support. Even after 4 years we're still very touchy-feely and we still do lots of things for each other like making nice meals, going for walks, buying presents etc. She's easily the greatest girl I've ever gone out with and I can imagine spending the rest of my life with her...
... except there's one little problem: she doesn't seem to care about her weight, and I do. I care lot. I care to the point that it's really stressing me out... and I find myself caring more and more about it with time. This is one of the reasons we haven't had sex for about 9 months (I think she feels my uncertainly and reacts to it by not wanting to have sex with me)
I know we're all bombarded by impossibly-perfect ideals of how men and women "should" look and I know they aren't achievable unless working-out is your full-time job. I'm totally cool with that, and my previous girlfriends have generally been a nice womanly shape and not waifs. But they've also been fit, and they've at least been light enough to pick up! My girlf is technically "obese"; she's about 35% body fat and heavier than me.
I love her so much, but no matter what approach (passive... persuasive... logical) I take I can't help her to lose weight. What do I do? Do I break up with her? Do I take hypnotherapy to cure me of these thoughts (and if you think this, are you saying I should endorse something that's bad for her)? Is there another way to help her lose weight?
Gah, I feel so bloody shallow
I really really need your help.