HedwigStrange

Hey there. I'm not nearly as kind or non-judgemental as Tecoyah, but you asked for a critique, so I'll deliver. Here we go, poem by poem, subjective style.

History - I liked the collection of images, but I felt that you really didn't need to do the line repetition. Line repetition comes up so often.. especially in an "I am.." structure. I know that was an exercise poem, but the images stand well alone. I especially like this line: "I am from chitlins, pigs feet & neck bone"

Tight Chance - Nice job. Yes, I have a poor guy friend who theorizes that he will be stuck in that circle forever and ever.

Yellow Fear - Not my thing. Paint images and poems where everything is described as a color drive me nuts because of how many there are out there. It is a deep poem in meaning, but the method of description is distracting for me. If you want to keep a connecting sensory theme through the poem, maybe you could rework it all in scents, which seem to bring up very strong memories in people.

Your Heart Must Die - This is such a common sentiment that I feel like it needs to be rhymed and metered in sort of homage to the olden days of love-lorn sonnets. In its current form, it doesn't leave me with any strong impressions.

For She Who Doesn't Know - Ditto from Your Heart Must Die. No strong impression. No interesting language to stick it in my head. No striking metaphors, no images in particular. No new sentiments. It just goes right through me. Same goes for the next poem down, actually, though I liked the line about chocolate lips.

Color - I liked this a lot, despite its short length. It was really striking in image, and there are a few different ways it could be taken, which raises it above the one-dimensionality of the previous three poems. Excellent.