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Originally Posted by mixedmedia
I was a woman in the reverse of this situation for years and he never did shit around the house and it made me very resentful. So, no, I don't think it's too much to ask.
But, of course, there are all kinds of extenuating circumstances that could be having an effect on the dynamics of this relationship as it pertains to what his wife does or does not do.
For instance, in my marriage, there was depression involved.
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I had the exact situation with reverse gender roles. I often worked more then one job and would come home to find my daughter asking what are you cooking for dinner? If she had eaten empty cans of soups or microwaved junk food wrapper would be everywhere.
To this day my ex' cooking skills begin and end with a can opener.
She never cooked, but there was a time she did most of the cleaning, laundry etc... Suddenly after about 10 yrs. of marriage she just stop doing almost anything. I came home one day and realized she'd been in bed for nearly two days. I asked her if she was sick. "No, I just really tried." Turns out she was "tried" for 15 years. I found out later she'd found out her father had cancer and it triggered some PPDS and massive depression. He'd been EXTREMELY abusive to her when she was very young. I never met the man, she never spoke about him and regardless of my request, attempts, (finally) demands she wouldn't seek any help. I didn't even hear about the abuse from her, her aunt told me. I kept thinking if I just do this she'll be happy and we can go back to the way it was the first 10 years or so. One day I realized it didn't matter what I did. She wasn't interested in helping herself and my doing everything was doing more harm to her (and myself) then good.
So no I don't think it's unreasonable, regardless of genders. But there maybe issues involve that go beyond simply one spouse not wanting to do the house work and cooking.