abaya, I think you hit it on the head when you said that you look at marriage as a learning process...
That is how Topper and I feel. We are coming up on our 6th! wedding anniversary and I can't believe how much we've been grown and changed and how lucky we are to have one another.
Our marriage had it's ups and downs in the first couple years, but I think that was mostly due to my anxiety issues. Once I got into therapy, I really gained some massive self awareness and was able to recognize my negative habits and address them. Topper has been patient with me through it all and very supportive. He is not perfect, with a tendency to overstress about work, but he has gained awareness about that and has better self care than he used to, which I am proud of him for.
I think what makes us... Us. is that we have been best friends since we were 14 and we know each other through and through and it's that kind of humble synergy that always sees us through. Without a doubt, when something good or bad happens, he is always the first person I want to talk to about it and he feels the same about me, we are each other's greatest support and cheerleaders.
Having invited the concept of a girlfriend into our marriage for the past year in the form of our lovely W has been a journey and has also been part of my growth in my sexuality, which he is supportive of and for that, I am lucky.
Our sex life gets better every year, as we are both very passionate people, so we are finding new ways to enjoy each other's bodies all the time. I think it's that committment to keeping things sexy and fun that really add to our sex life. Also... our willingness to talk about issues that may arise in a non-defensive manner is something we finally have down pat. So... with communication and openess, we really are getting each other's needs met
I agree that most people don't really like to talk about their marriages... and this thread was a great one to start the discussion. kudos.
thanks,
sweetpea