For all the married folks out there... I've just been thinking about a lot of my friends lately, and how I often know everything about them except for the state of their marriage, which seems like an important thing to know about among friends.
I find it kind of weird, because I like to broadcast the state of my marriage often, lol (maybe because it's mostly positive?... but even when ktspktsp and I had our bad times, I still broadcast that in my journal here, too!)... so I wonder why we don't hear about the inner emotional workings of a lot of marriages right here on good ol' TFP, given how much time we devote to posting about our lusts and desires, alternative lifestyles and sexualities, etc. I mean, those are all extremely private things, as well.
I have a pretty strong feeling about who IS in a happy marriage around here; I also have some inklings about who isn't, no matter how much they might try to hide or avoid the topic. It kind of just oozes out of people's posts, somehow. Does anyone else get that impression? I'm the type of person that really likes to get down to the nitty-gritty when I get to know someone, not beating around the bush, so it's a bit weird for me when I recognize avoidant behavior... but maybe that doesn't gel with an online, mostly anonymous internet forum.
Anyway, without further ado, would be interesting to see what comes up here. I'm putting an anonymous poll for people to respond, in case you don't want to actually post anything... which is fine, still gives us a read on the general population. Would be interesting to know what are the things that you want to work on to make your marriage better, or what became a deal breaker for you if you are heading towards divorce?
Oh, and in case y'all didn't know, my marriage status is usually updated whenever I journal, hehe. But we are generally pretty happy, though we'll be a lot happier when we move away from Iceland!!!
We're always working on something, though I think we've got communication mostly down. We both tend to get a little bit defensive/passive-aggressive when we're unhappy with the other person, but we do point it out and handle it when it happens. Our sex life has its good and not-so-good times, but also overall, we're always working towards something better. I guess we see the whole marriage thing as a learning process, and right now we're still in the early stages (first 2 years) of what we see as a lifetime journey. So that perspective helps us get through a lot, I think.