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If it were me, this would be ultimatum time. Her behavior is highly inappropriate, as was illustrated by this most recent situation. This is a married woman behaving like she's single. It's past time for her to mature in her behavior, and she needs to understand that you want a wife, not a buddy.
Hammered 3+ nights a week? Could be alcoholism.
BTW, if that guy insists on being an asshole and continues to pursue your wife, you may need to take a more proactive role. At the very least, you may want to join your wife if you're aware they are going out again.
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