girldetective

If this is a casual sort of relationship I would talk it over in a subtle way and decide to stay or go, and I would do just that. If youre not happy now ...

If this were a long-term situation such as a marriage this is what I did and would do again. I would take a step back and look at the situation the best I could in a practical and real manner. Then I would begin to clean-up my own act to where I was being the best possible partner that I thought I could be. I began to look at my own behavior and the effect it had on my spouse's affect. Then I suggested marriage counseling. In other words, I did everything I could to ensure my marriage prospered or that I was making the right decision when I left.

Although it sounds sort of sappy, Im really glad I did that now because I look back on it as a turning point and one that I think I handled well, as as adult. I learned a lot from it and it made my decision clear. There has been very little guilt, which I often carry us as normal everyday baggage.

Of course this all took time. Someone recently said in response to my being impatient that I am the most patient impatient person they had ever met. I suppose I did my best in a conscious manner over the last 5 years.

Now that I think about it, i think 5 years is waaay too long.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata