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Maybe it's time?
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to
help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice,
avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive
behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to
ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try
one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and
other liberal, bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of
people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that
they require a "Bill of No Rights".
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans
are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of sub- sidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric
chair.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you
rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and
lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to
a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their
lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from
going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting
the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time
battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a
funny hat.
ARTICLE IX:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to
have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education
and educational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by
the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an
overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights.
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony
"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus
It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
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