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It sucks either way. For whatever reason, i've known a lot of people who have been left behind when spouses have decided they are gay or lesbian or a new and different gender.
It's usually not easy. There's a lot of self-doubt: why didn't i notice? Why didn't i believe him/her when he/she said... Why did i fool myself? Why did i let myself get fooled? etc. Plus you have the usual anger of betrayal.
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