Magpie0001

This thread came about coz of a conversation I had with my lovely sexy girlfriend.
The Q is would you be more pissed if your girlfriend/boyfriend left you for someone of thier sex, Converting (or whatever you call it) to homosexuality in the proces of dumping your sorry ass or just leaving you for another guy.

One one side YOu could be happy that the person in question just prefered same sex sex & theres nothing wrong with you, OOOoooor you could tell yourself that youre so terrible that you pushed the person to consider homosexuality.

I think im babbling so If anyone can comprehend my Q, please reply, thank you.

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KWSN

Another girl, for the first reason that you said it. You can't make a person convert to homosexuality. People who seriously go homosexual do it because they just don't think the opposite sex is right for them, so I would have no insecurity about that. Also, there's no other guy to be jealous of.

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eyeseepeedude

I don't think you can really be 'converted'. I'm of the type that believe that you're born that way. I really don't think that people would 'turn' homosexual with all the crap that people dish out now-a-days. (*except for those people who love watching the movies, then it's okay... *)

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*Nikki*

If anything my EX reinforced my attraction to women by giving men a bad rap!!

I think if my SO left me for someone of the same sex I would feel very jaded. Like somehow I influenced this decision!

I do however believe that sexual preferance is innate.

Sparhawk

The feeling of rejection and worthlessness would still happen with a (insert opposite sex). I don't think it'd be any worse...

It'd just be something your friends would sympathize with, and your enemies would tease you endlessly on.

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The_Dude

i'd try to join in

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lurkette

I think the loss of a person you cared about would be painful either way. The bottom line is still the same, regardless of the reason s/he left.

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Cynthetiq

rejection is never nice.. doesn't matter if it's for a person of same sex, or even just because. it still sucks.

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Psivage

I wouldn't care. If she feels that the only way to be happy, then so be it.

warrrreagl

All of my former girlfriends decided to give celibacy a try while dating me, and then left me for other guys.

Could that be significant?

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World's King

Only if she let me watch her with the new girlfriend.

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guthmund

My sister got divorced and found a lesbian friend.

She was married to this guy for a couple of years before she excercised her inner lesbian.

I've talked with the guy and it seems he was upset more by the fact that she left him for a woman.

He knew that my sister loved him. My sister loves women. Using these two facts he made the jump to "If she loves women and she loved me then I must not be much of a man." However garbled that logic.....

I don't think I'd be bothered by the sex of who she left me for. I'd just be upset she was gone.

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viveleroi0

I would want my g/f to turn lesbo, because then honestly I would ask if I could watch. LOL

As hard-working, professional, and mature I seem, I always say it doesn't hurt to ask.

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VirFighter

I'd be more upset if she left me for another guy. That way its a direct comparison, she chose a better guy. In the lesbian sense, well you can't really compare yourself to a female so its harder to say she didn't pick that person when compared to you.

At least thats my warped sense of logic.

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YourNeverThere

ya i think the dude has it right, if she left me for an other women that at least i might have a vague chance of a three some

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homerhop

if she left me for another woman... well there is always her sister

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MrFlux

See above.

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Slims

Another girl, because if you ask nice, they will usually let you take a few pictures

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ForgottenKnight

This is similar to a situation a friend of mine told me about. He started dating a girl, who was actually only using him to cheat on her girlfriend for revenge for something. Then she dumped him and went back to her girlfriend after the two made up. He saw it as cool that he got to date a lesbian.

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suviko

My ex left to build internet/phone network in Saudi Arabia (cos that brings dirty heaps of $$$) and after that I considered was there something wrong with me if a man who likes sex & drinking will go for 2 years into a country of celibacy (for single foreign man) & absolutism.

If any of my ex-bfs would be living gay life now, I would assume they are bisexuals and had fun having sex & dating me and it's ok, and if that wasn't true and they'd faked everything, boy I'd be dissapointed and also probably mad and demand to dicuss the thing over and most likely start thinking they were confused and be friends again. I would be way more bugged if I was left by a boy for another girl.

If I was dating a girl and she left me, it would also be worse if she left me for another woman. I can't compete with a man but she is doing something beter than I am if I get to be left to the second spot and that would prolly hurt my selfesteem and make me wonder am I good enough. :/

bender

If she's gone, she's gone. Wish her the best and move on.

Lebell

I would hurt, but the healthy thing is to use your intellect to tell your heart it wasn't you and that she is just discovering who she really is.

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smithja0423

I was with a girl who was bisexual and left me for a woman. It bothered me as much as if she's left me for another guy because i already knew of her penchant for both. If she was straight and left me for a girl, i'd probably have the indications way in advance, be prepared for it, and not have any hard feelings because i feel that no one has the ability to control their sexual orientation. I'm still friends with the above mentioned girl and i've seen her go back and forth between the two three or four times since then. It's just how she is.

etla

I'm with lurkette, it hurts either way.

suviko

Well sure the hurt is there no matter what, but the bottom line is will it make you see yourself as the reason the stuff fell apart or do you think you've been used etc. and what other emotions and thoughts might appear. This is speculation to most of us so we can't really tell if there would be any difference what so ever in real life.

cplus1002

My girlfriend left me for another woman who happens to be a family member of mine. I let my niece move in with us to help us with the birth of our third child and no I feel I was used to give the lesbo's a place to live and now they have every couples dream. A child together and even worse, I have to pay child support now. I don't care what anyone says about watching. I would not want to watch. And my ex now says, I am only mad because it's someone I cannot get involved with. NOT the case!!! I just wished I could rewind the hands of time and take back all the time I ever had with her knowing now she was thinking of someone else the entire time.

Top that!

lotsofmagnets

i think everyone else in this thread has died of old age.

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she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Willravel

*Nikki*, The_Dude, lurkette, Cynthetiq, warrrreagl, World's King, guthmund, Greg700... plenty of old timers still about. Even Lebell pops up now and again.

lotsofmagnets

just a reference to the dates

old timers....lol

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

thespian86

I have a group of four friends from kindergarden; we all grew up in the same neighborhood, hung out in high school, still stay in touch. Out of the four (two guys, two girls), I am the only one to not "turn someone gay". My best friend (the other guy) had his extremist christian girlfriend leave him for a big breasted lady friend who also attended their church; my first conversation after this was "So... Kara likes vagina".

Good times.

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guyy

It sucks either way. For whatever reason, i've known a lot of people who have been left behind when spouses have decided they are gay or lesbian or a new and different gender.

It's usually not easy. There's a lot of self-doubt: why didn't i notice? Why didn't i believe him/her when he/she said... Why did i fool myself? Why did i let myself get fooled? etc. Plus you have the usual anger of betrayal.

match000

lol @ thread necro

for anyone who gets the reference: Cos-tanza.

levite

I actually was in a relationship for five years with a girl who broke up with me to pursue being a lesbian. It hurt when we broke up, of course, but we're still good friends, and I am actually much happier that she left me for a girl than if she'd left me for another guy.

I can't possibly compete with a girl: it's apples and oranges. Which soothes the competitiveness in me.

But also, how can I blame my ex? If I had the choice between going out with a big hairy Jewish dude versus getting it on with a chick, I wouldn't pick me, either.

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xepherys

I don't neccesarily believe that sexual preference is innate. A guy who is straight through his whole life might be an "ass man" for years, then a "boob man" a decade later. WHAT you are attracted to changes constantly throughout your life. Why would gender attraction be any different? Makes no sense to me.

As to the initial post, I've had this conversation numerous times. My view has always been that if my SO left me for another man, then I screwed up. What does he have that I don't? If my SO leaves me for a woman? I KNOW what she has that I don't. I'd leave me for a woman, too! Honestly, it's only partially in jest. Two guys are far more similar than a guy and a girl (usually). Being left for something far different than you seems much more tolerable. Now if my SO left me for Rosie O'Donnell or Paula Poundstone... then I might be hurt.

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KellyC

I 2nd what Cyn said....nearly five years ago, lol.

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savmesom11

So no joke but my best guy-friend's ex-wife left him for a one-eyed lesbian! Yup one eye.....poor guy.....

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lotsofmagnets

leela from futurama?

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

kutulu

All chicks are two glasses of wine away from a threesome.