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Confused with feelings
Okay so, I was the poster of a thread a few months ago about how to deal with my girlfriend with whom I've been for 4 years and broke up with her but she wouldn't let go.
Now life is screwing me over as she started to move on after the break up 4 months or so and a friend of mine was flirting with her. I thought I was over her too, even though deep inside of me I missed her but I suppressed this feeling. Then out of nowhere jealousy overwhelmed me as things became more explicit between them, and I went back to her for a talk and confessed my feelings. Before going further, I am confused if is it really love, or just ego - somebody taking over my role of being by her side. I really thought about it, I'm pretty sure it's not the latter, but I dunno if it's what I'm trying to make myself believe. Those feelings are really fucking with my mind.
Then the hard part - she's kinda relieved that it turned out like that, but is scared of coming back as she said that the pain I inflicted her with the breakup was inhumane and she wouldn't live through another one. This sprouted doubts in my mind as I sure as hell don't want to make her suffer anymore. I'm pretty confident that I love her now, I even did those things I never did before to prove her that. But what if it's just for a fleeting moment? What if the whole scenario repeats itself? How the hell am I supposed to know all of that, if she's the one, for better or for worse, till death do us part? My head's pretty effed up with all of this bullcrap right now and I don't know how to see clear through all of it =(
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