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Originally Posted by The Magic
This was my first relationship ever, and I foolishly believed since the beginning that with enough time people could change their character. I've wanted her to become more self-confident, and she has in some ways, but she has also come to depend on me very much during this year and a half.
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This is where, I believe, things were doomed to failure. I may be wrong by reading between the lines, but it seems that you went into this relationship thinking
you could change
her, not she change herself. I believe most any therapist/pre-marital councelor/clergyman would caution against going into a marriage with that objective in mind for anyone. I personally think that extends to any relationship as well as jumping the broom.
Your use of the word "foolishly" seems to hint that you are aware of this. You said she depends on you but I think Martian is right with his use of the word codependency. I'm not privy to the intricacies of your relationship and all that led to this dynamic, but hopefully you are aware and are able to take that lesson into your future relationships.
As far as the break-up, I agree with most everyone else, a clean break is the best for both of you in the long wrong regardless of how hard it seems in the present. Whether I hit the nail on the head or am way off the mark, I'd say you should own up to her your faults in the relationship. I wish you the best of luck.
Ali