Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - conflicts with a family member and a friend?

InTransition951 · 04-15-2008, 11:08 PM

i do not really know how to start this but ill give it a shot.

ever since i was in middle school, i used to strongly dislike people of my race (filipino) that act like ghetto thugs and eventually passed this ideology to my cousin who i am very close to in the family. today now that i am older (19), it is not really that harsh because i learned to not care about things that i really dislike.

i recently moved and made some new friends where i first judged them from how they dressed and acted from what i was saying earlier. but after getting to know them later on in the college semester through mutual friendships, they are actually good people from hanging out with them after a few classes.

now here is the problem from my title of this thread. My cousin that i passed this ideology still thinks this way and still dislikes them from the experiences between now and back then. He is coming to visit me from my old hometown and we were planning on having a get together with my new friends who fit the description. He did not know about what kind of people they were until i told him via the internet.

He told me that if they even slightly pissed him off (which basically means acting like ghetto thugs), he wouldnt hesitate to fight my new friends. I already told them in advance that we were going to hang out and i am afraid of starting a conflict between some new friends and my cousin. I really do not want this to happen.

my cousin has the type of temper where he does jump to conclusions a lot. He is also a bit stubborn sometimes when you disagree on something with him too. Like, you plan something with him and still agrees with you but you can just feel that he does not want to do this and makes you feel really bad about yourself. i mean, he is a great guy besides this.

but anyways, Is there any alternative to this? or should i cancel this get together and not risk anything? i really do not want to lose any friends just because my cousin dislikes these kinds of people. but i do not want to do nothing since there is really nothing to do around town since most places are just retail.

04-15-2008, 11:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
InTransition951 Upright Location: Northern CA	conflicts with a family member and a friend? i do not really know how to start this but ill give it a shot. ever since i was in middle school, i used to strongly dislike people of my race (filipino) that act like ghetto thugs and eventually passed this ideology to my cousin who i am very close to in the family. today now that i am older (19), it is not really that harsh because i learned to not care about things that i really dislike. i recently moved and made some new friends where i first judged them from how they dressed and acted from what i was saying earlier. but after getting to know them later on in the college semester through mutual friendships, they are actually good people from hanging out with them after a few classes. now here is the problem from my title of this thread. My cousin that i passed this ideology still thinks this way and still dislikes them from the experiences between now and back then. He is coming to visit me from my old hometown and we were planning on having a get together with my new friends who fit the description. He did not know about what kind of people they were until i told him via the internet. He told me that if they even slightly pissed him off (which basically means acting like ghetto thugs), he wouldnt hesitate to fight my new friends. I already told them in advance that we were going to hang out and i am afraid of starting a conflict between some new friends and my cousin. I really do not want this to happen. my cousin has the type of temper where he does jump to conclusions a lot. He is also a bit stubborn sometimes when you disagree on something with him too. Like, you plan something with him and still agrees with you but you can just feel that he does not want to do this and makes you feel really bad about yourself. i mean, he is a great guy besides this. but anyways, Is there any alternative to this? or should i cancel this get together and not risk anything? i really do not want to lose any friends just because my cousin dislikes these kinds of people. but i do not want to do nothing since there is really nothing to do around town since most places are just retail. __________________ looking young can be fun at times in some situations. but many older people do not take you so seriously.