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I'm not necessarily opposed to defining cheating as anything you're ashamed to tell your partner that involves you and another member of the gender in which you're interested.
In the strictest sense, I would probably say that anything physical that goes on between you and another person of your gender-of-interest, which you would not ordinarily do with your friends of the gender-not-of-interest, definitely crosses the line. I think emotional intimacy is much more difficult to gauge, and largely constitutes a grey area which I would call "walking the line."
But being intoxicated is definitely no excuse for anything.
And all of these things, of course, are subject to clear and open discussion with one's partner: quite often, people are willing to make many allowances, or give their partners a substantial amount of room and free rein, if they are given the opportunity to discuss the matter abstractly in a fair and honest fashion first.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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