little_tippler

This part of what you say makes sense to me. The difference with me is that even though I am generally comfortable in my own skin (we all have moments of doubt), I still feel quite self-conscious, exactly because I often feel like I don't fit. I'm used to it, but I am quite conscious of it. It's not something to change, it's just how I am. I am very sensitive to how others see me, if they are close to me. I am generally sensitive to others and sometimes have to make myself see the bigger picture, in terms of the relevance or irrelevance of any event where I feel someone is judging me, positively or negatively.

I don't think the question makes sense, it's not about what is more important to me. Sometimes I am more concerned with myself and sometimes I am more concerned with others, or sometimes they both occurr at once. It's a changeable thing.

I do find it an interesting exercise though, to get some perspective on yourself, to get some feedback on how others actually do see you. It gives you a sense of your own (un)importance.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918