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Want to change your relationship status? Sure. Want to do it without everyone seeing it changed? Nope. If you change it, your friends will see, specifically, that you have changed your "Relationship Status" recently, when they click on the "Friends" tab.
Want your ex'es to stop seeing your profile? The only way to do it is to block or remove them. But if you want to be the nice guy (or gal), and not remove them from your friends list, then there is no way to stop them from seeing your profile.
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1) Uncheck the option to publish relationship status changes.
2) Put your exes in a security group for Exes, and remove viewing rights to certain parts of your profile.
I use facebook all the time, and I'm very protective about my privacy. I don't have any Applications installed, either.