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I've been an active member 'round here for almost exactly three years. My first posts, then, were made when I was 21, which seems like a long time ago. In a lot of ways it is.
In the intervening time I feel like I've made the full transition into adulthood. I still largely feel like that 19 year old kid I once was, except that my opinions and philosophies have formed and solidified. I've learned a lot about myself and others, I've learned what I like about myself and what I don't like and how to go about changing these things. I've fallen in love and fallen out of love. It's been quite a trip, in other words.
I'm not sure how much if any of the changes I've made over the course of my third decade on this rock can be attributed to the TFP. I'd like to think that I would've grown and matured regardless of the people here, but I'm not sure that's the case. There are men here who I've gotten to know through their writing (and, occasionally, in person) and who I now look up to and admire, who serve as role models for me of a sort. It seems odd to form such a relationship through a medium like this one, and I'm certain they're not aware of it; at the same time, when I think about the man I want to be in five or ten years, these are the guys who pop into my head. And that sense of kinship I guess, for lack of a better word, seems like it would almost have to affect a person.
The Tilted Forum Project has provided me with a group of peers and a sense of camaraderie that was sorely missing in my life. And I think it's only appropriate for me to take this moment to thank all the people here, whether they're new or old hands, whether they're young or old, for providing a place where I can feel that way.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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