creepysusie

You said
"Earlier that day, I made myself a plan: a list that would better myself, our environment, and that I would keep at it. If it was a larger apartment, the needed furniture, the need for me to clean up (during the day while I'm working), go to cooking, dance, social clubs (for the both of us)... whatever we both needed... "

Keep the plan, just leave her out of it.

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly and under no circumstance should it be actually done until both parties are in the right place (financially and mentally) at the same time. Financial problems will arise in marriage, but don't let it be the first thing that causes the problem. You should rather have a fight concerning over caterers or date and location than serious financial issue whilst engaged.

It seems that her affection was never really there. As for closure, I highly reccommend doing the things you wanted to do to better yourself. As you said, it takes two to tango, it might be wise to figure out where things went wrong in the relationship to avoid said potholes in future circumstances. Take up some of your hobbies, go out, learn something new and prove to yourself that as a single person, you can still function. After getting out of a long term relationship, it is hard to remember what it is like to be single.
Sometimes, love really does suck.
Lovers come and go, but true love is stronger than this.