Okay, time to blind y'all with science.
Here's the deal - the bulk of energy that floats around in our happy little Universe is what we call electromagnetic energy. See, at first we thought that radio waves and light waves and heat waves were all completely different, but it turns out that they're actually different flavours of the same thing.
Well, except the last one. That's a meteorological phenomenon.
So what we have now are all of these different types of energy that we thought were different, all on one spectrum. The only difference between microwaves and visible light and UV radiation is wavelength.
Quantum theory: a particle may not release energy in arbitrary amounts, but must do so in discrete units. These units are called quanta. A quantum could be likened to a box; all of the quantum boxes are the same size and that's the size the energy has to be released in. But energy with a shorter wavelength is denser, and therfore more of it can be crammed into the quantum box than can be done with less dense energy, in much the same way that more concrete can be placed in a physical box than styrofoam, when measured by mass.
So, cell phones.
Cell phones broadcast and receive transmissions in the microwave portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. As it turns out, the area of the spectrum designated as microwaves is pretty big, with wavelengths varying from approximately 30 cm right down to 1 mm; by contrast, the visible light portion of the spectrum varies by about 300 nm - that's nanometres, or 300 billionths of a metre.
Okay, so microwaves cover a lot of ground, and it's relatively long wavelength, low frequency. But what do they do to people?
Not a whole lot, really. Got a wireless network? You're being bathed in microwaves as you read this.
The type of radiation that we need to be concerned about is what's known as ionising radiation. It's named that because it has the capability to alter substances on a molecular level by knocking off an electron (turning them into an ion). Low frequency, long wavelength energy isn't energetic enough to do this - it doesn't pack enough energy into a quantum to knock an electron off a molecule. This type of energy is therefore known as non-ionising radiation, because it's incapable of changing stuff molecularly (and therefore incapable of giving you cancer by causing molecular changes in DNA molecules). Happily, the visible light spectrum acts as a handy delineation between ionising and non-ionising radiation; there is a small portion of the UV spectrum that is non-ionising, but anything above that is dangerous in large quantities and anything below it is more or less harmless. Since microwaves, infra-red and RF radiation all fall well below visible light on the spectrum, we can be reasonably confident that they pose no risk.
So how do cell phones cook an egg?
Well, as I mentioned above cell phones do use microwaves, and as I also jokingly pointed out, using a cell phone could be very loosely equated with microwaving your head. Yeah, they're the same type of microwaves that your microwave oven uses to heat your leftovers. The thing is, cell phones use so little power in comparison to a microwave that there isn't any real risk to people - given that your head is denser than an egg and that you have this excellent system for dumping waste heat generated by the microwaves, you really have nothing to worry about. Even cooking an egg requires multiple high-output units and takes a fairly long time.
So, yeah. Cellphones, sadly, will not turn you into the hulk. You may go about your daily business with no concern.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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