View Single Post
Old 04-02-2008, 05:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
UKking
Crazy
 
What is the "right" age to be married, and how young is too young?

My thoughts:

Generically: It depends on what you want to do with your life...

There's no way to know, but you'll know when you're ready.
You'll also know when you're not ready.
It's obviously not teachable.
Look at who stays married and who doesn't, who gets married 5 times, who stays with their childhood sweetheart.

It's impossible to decipher.
It's a total crap shoot.

Thinking a little further:

Quote:
Originally Posted by from another site
I don't think it has much to do with age and much more to do with maturity and commitment. Going into a marriage for all the right reasons and with a mutual understanding of what the marriage will be like will save you a world of headache, no matter how old you are.

I do think that our society has become more self-focused and that partly as a result of that, marital commitments are seen as "forever, but not really." A hundred years ago people got married much younger and stayed that way. They rode out the hard times, dealt with things they didn't like, and stayed true to their commitment. It's not that way for most people any more. When you see a couple who has been married for a long time, it doesn't mean they don't have problems or never had challenges, or that they got married at the "right time." It means they were committed enough to stick it out no matter what.
Ya know, lets not forget the massive cultural differences between 100 years ago and now. I'm thinking mostly about gender roles. Women are more independent now, where previously they were expected to follow through with a marriage, entirely despite themselves. Back then, what a man decided is what happened, and there was little room for a wife's determination or opinion within the husband's shadow. There's no such thing as compromise as we know it now, and comparatively little consequence to acting contrary to his wife's wishes. When a man's got that kind of dominance, from his perspective whats the point of divorce?

Look at modern Muslim countries, for instance. Very little occurrence of divorce. It's because men have complete control, so there's little interest in it.

I'm just not seeing this fantasy of the bygone golden age of proper marriage. I don't think it ever existed, unless you're a male chauvinist or misogynist. The good thing, though, is that the more we learn about the culture we're creating, the better we as men and women can learn how to make it work on equal footings for the long term. So that golden age just might happen. Maybe.
UKking is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360