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Originally Posted by dksuddeth
SF, i've read most peoples responses on this thread and I say to you, with all sincerity, that they are full of shiat.
YOU determine if you could benefit from any therapy.
YOU determine if others are in a better position to tell you what you need.
YOU determine where your life and mental well being reside in any given state.
If you let others determine what you need and don't need, you've already given up control of your life.
I say this from experience and I believe I'm in a better position than most to say so.
I have dark moods. I'm in one right now.
My wife has been seriously ill for some time.
Our financial situation has steadily declined for years.
My wife just found out today that there is a greater than 50/50 chance she might not see her next birthday and she's only 38 years old. I'm busting my ass to keep working, keep the bills paid, and keep her medical coverage going. I deal with bill collecters and my landlord every single week and the pressure is intense to just make it day to day.
I may be a widow at 42. I may watch my wife die and be relatively helpless about it. I can't do anything more than what is physically possible to do the best I can.
I've taken pay cuts just to keep a job. I've cut extraneous crap out of my life, things I enjoyed, just to pay bills, and yes, I'm sometimes tired of doing so, but NOBODY is in any position to tell me I'm not capable of dealing with it without psychological help.
NOBODY controls me or my life. NOBODY can control your life unless you let them.
If your 'mood' or attitude is not all 'happy happy joy joy' for others, yet you still function day to day and deal with your daily shit, too bad for them.
YOU are in control of your life, until you let others tell you what you need.
If your SO is not happy with your attitude, maybe they need to be checking theirs, this is usually called projection. YOU do what YOU need to do, let others worry about themselves. It's when you find it hard to do the things you NEED to do, that you need to consider outside sources of help.
just my humble opinion anyway.
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I'm not trying to be a dick about this but I'm sure I sound like one; I don't care really. The thing is, your "mood" is a reflection of your emotional state. If your "mood" is changing from what you would consider is normal, for a duration of time that seems unnatural, and there is no real external cause to said change, then you're more then likely hurting inside. The problem is, your "attitude" towards your "mood" is nonchalant and these people suffer in silence. That suffering is a period of "not being able to control THEIR lives". There are people who can you help you cope with these periods in a healthier way then hiding and shutting out the ones you love; it sounds like in Strange's case, his girlfriend is noticing this and attempting to remedy it (because those who are sick often don't seek help). If you are still struggling there is most likely the perfect med for you that will not change your "mood" or "attitude" or make your personality deviate from what it would normally be. The reason this happens isn't because he cut out buying a CD a week, or because he didn't renew his golf membership and is bummed about it; it's actually a chemical imbalance in your head. And because this is chemical, YOU cannot control YOUR life or YOUR emotions or YOUR thoughts or YOUR feelings or YOUR sexual desire, I think YOU get the point, during these periods of instability.
It was people like you that made it hard for me to recover. People who look at someone who can't control their actions or emotions to the extent they wish they could, and say "Grow up" or "I'm sad too" or "You don't look sick to me". It's like walking up to a man recovering from a broken leg and beating him with a stick until it fractures again. I'm not a doctor but I've gone through this, something tells me you haven't, and what Strange is describing sounds A LOT like something I went through. I'm not saying he is sick, he could be perfectly fine, but I'm hoping people who are less brave and less vocal then Strange Famous is, will read this and realize a) they aren't alone, and b) they can get help. No one needs someone calling that process bullshit. Take it elsewhere please.
And I meant to thank you Strange, I think this is a really important conversation that needs to be had in a public forum. I appreciate it. And DK I'm sorry to hear about your wife and I really hope things turn around. But comparing and illness to a hard time, albeit a very difficult and horrible one, is impossible; its simply not the same. Again, I hope everything works out.