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Originally Posted by abaya
Exactly. And I agree with everyone else who has said that you strongly exhibit symptoms of some kind of depression, even just through your posts on this board... people who are in a healthy state of mind regarding their own self-esteem and self-image do not write the way that you do on this board, not even close. I believe you do need help. And if the person who is closest to you in your life also thinks you need help, I'd say you'd better get it fast.
Personally, I am not attracted to people who think they are too good for therapy, or are somehow above it. I have spent quite a bit of time seeing psychologists, and it got me through a lot of shit... if my significant other (long before he became my husband) had refused to go to therapy, that might have been the end. It's THAT important to me, that my significant other doesn't have a huge enough ego to think that he's too good to ask for professional help. I don't know if your girlfriend feels the same way, but if you ignore her request for a long enough time, she might end up feeling that way, too. Why take the chance? What's the risk in just trying it?
I'd love to see the tone of your posts on TFP change as a result of you going to therapy. I am quite sure that we would all notice the difference in you. Yes, it's that bad.
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I have to agree with abaya. To be honest, SF, I have thought for a while now that you ought to seek some professional help. While you might not see yourself as a sad or a depressed person, you definitely give off that impression. Your lack of motivation to change your life in a positive manner is what has the alarm bells ringing in my head. I was much the same way for a long, long, long time--and most of it was due to depression. For me, the solution was medication and self-help. I used cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques I picked up from a seminar on depression, as well as what I had learned in psychology courses to outline how to help myself. Now I am off the meds but stick with the therapy--which is basically a regimen of what I need to do in order to keep myself physically and mentally healthy (this includes daily exercise, yoga, meditation, a chore list, a daily to-do list, all designed to keep me moving and motivated).
My recommendations:
1) Talk to your GP. They can point you in the direction of a specialist, or suggest ways you might change your daily life to mitigate the impact of depression. They might also prescribe medication, which can be helpful in allowing you time to get used to the changes you will need to make in your life.
2) Start moving. Period. Daily exercise is HUGE--and yes, you should be doing at least one cardiovascular activity 4x a week to get those endorphins going. Bicycling, walking, running--something. For a long time, I had a 3x5 card taped to my computer monitor that read: "Why are you sitting?" To that end, limit your time spent on the computer if possible.
3) Yoga. Yes, this might seem like a ridiculous suggestion, but yoga helps your mind and body get in tune with one another.
4) Start journaling. This was recommended to me by one of my psych profs. Just the act of getting the negative thoughts out there, the negative emotions--it's incredibly cleansing. Plus, as you begin to make progress, you have a concrete record of the progress you've made.
5) Eat happy foods. Eat food that makes you feel better--not worse. Think on that for a moment. I love double cheeseburgers, but I know I feel awful after I eat one. I'd much rather eat a turkey sandwich loaded with veggies on whole wheat and feel happy about my choice--despite my love of double cheeseburgers.
6) Cut yourself some slack, but not too much. Getting out of the hole of depression takes some work. Sometimes it takes multiple tries. Don't feel guilty if a technique or tactic doesn't work. Move on to something else. If you make a bad decision, it's best to examine it thoroughly once and then pack it away and move on, versus harping on it and overanalyzing it to death.
7) CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!! Getting out of depression often means sticking to firm routines and making lots of lists. When I first started, I literally had a checklist of all of the things I needed to do to be healthy on a daily basis.
Here is a link to a website that outlines the seminar I attended and found helpful, the website has many of the materials I modified to suit my personal needs, including the Star Chart:
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~jharris/wsc/..._fast/out.html