my girl thinks I should see a doctor about depression
I think she is over-reacting... I do have dark moods sometimes, especially before Christmas and the last week has been bad too: but its not like I ever have suicidal thoughts, and I couldnt imagine ever having them really.
I dont think I could stand to take medication that affected my mood - to me it would not only be an admission of weakness, but I think it makes you reliant on it. I dont see what else a doctor can do. Talking about being sad most times just makes me wallow in my self absorbtion and feel worse.
I mean, a lot of people get down sometimes - it isnt that unusual. I hold down a job, I dont break the law, I dont hurt anyone else, I am never going to kill myself - if sometimes I feel down or that I have no energy, that effects a lot of people, I dont think its clinical depression.
I just have low self esteem because of my weight, and certain things that happened to me when I was younger... Im in a lot of financial problems which does stress me out sometimes - but I dont see how going to see a doctor and getting medical records logged that any potential future employer can see and hold against me is gonna do much good.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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