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You may have to be the rock bottom she needs. Sister or not, would she be someone you would want to be around?
Perhaps it's time to say, flat out, "You're not welcome here until you clean up your act, stop stealing and then lying about it. I'm not your personal store." And back it up.
There's a very old Ann Landers saying: No one can take advantage of you without your permission.
My ex-sister-in-law was beautiful(an ex-model), charming and a lying, crack smoking thief. She stole checks from my sister, sold my brother's (her husband) credit cards and even made a false report of her car being stolen-in a drug-infested neighborhood in Gastonia, NC. She ruined my entire planned weekend with friends because I had to go to that area to pick her up. After her crocodile tears and admission she's a crackhead, I told her I was dropping her off at the hospital and whatever she does after that is her problem.
My brother is still reeling 6 years later because his identity was stolen and she took everything they had, but he's rid of her and doesn't know or care where she is.
The long and short of it is, if she doesn't care that she's stealing from her own sister, why should you care about hurting her feelings? You wouldn't treat a stranger who steals that way-she deserves no better just because of blood. You're not ruining the relationship-she took care of that the first time she decided to help herself to your things.
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