abaya

Well, if that's what you really mean, then you have to stand by it. You either mean it, or you don't.

But I don't think you really mean it. My guess is that you're saying it to make yourself sound like you're really open and trusting, but the rest of your post gives us clues otherwise. You're afraid of a gay guy stealing your girlfriend. You don't like your gf hugging other guys. You obviously want a lot more limits and barriers around your woman than you are currently getting.

Personally, I think every relationship has to negotiate its own limits and barriers... no one is fine with a completely open-to-anything relationship, like the way you describe it above (even polyamorous/open couples have to negotiate these things, perhaps even moreso than monogamous couples). Being in a relationship of any kind means you have to figure out what works between you both, and what's not going to fly. But you can't start by saying idealistic things "I want her to feel free to do anything," because it's simply not true.

If I were you, I would sit down with her and tell her your fears, and let her decide how to handle it. None of us can tell you that you're overreacting or not, because in the end, it comes down to you and your girlfriend and what you decide as being okay and respectful to both of you. Compromise can't happen if both parties aren't being as honest as possible, even if you feel like a possessive jealous jerk when you tell her how you feel. (And I've been in a similar situation as yours, btw... and yes, I looked like a possessive jealous jerk, but I still told my husband--then boyfriend--how I felt... and we worked it out.)

Two cents.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran