GG - we should get your sister and my brother together. They sound very similar.
My brother has had issues with my success (whatever form that may be) since we were little. When I did something, he (as the younger brother) thought that automatically meant he could do it, whether it was drinking, driving, etc. It didn't matter if it was allowed or not, he felt entitled to do it.
I'm not going to rehash family history, but I think it is sufficient to say that there was a streak of holidays ruined by stress. It got to the point that I would only visit once a year for a couple of days because I didn't want to deal with it.
Now that we're both in our 30's things seem to have lightened up quite a bit. I really wish I could point to a thing or a time or something tangible to give you an idea of something productive, but I can't. In my case, I think it was just time. Having kids probably didn't hurt, but don't take that as advice to get knocked up.
