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Old 03-05-2008, 11:05 AM   #20 (permalink)
indy-p
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASU2003
So everyone says "be yourself", but what happens when others won't accept you because you don't fit as their typical group member?

I mean in the past 5 years, I have learned more about life and who I am and who I want to be than in the previous 20. But the problem is that I have no group of friends I can call up anymore. Besides working, shopping, and eating at fast food places, almost everything else I do is by myself.

I have tried to come up with as many groups that I can think of and why it doesn't work out.


Internet groups – too flaky, too unorganized, too spread out, too paranoid, others are too busy

Hacker group – I’m not 'leet' enough for them, actually I can’t join due to my job

WoW - I don't play addicting video games

Poor people – I’m now too rich

Rich people – I’m not rich enough

Photography group – don’t have a good enough camera

Travel group – can’t get enough time off, like to do my own thing when on vacation, set dates and times are not my friend

Backpackers – not social enough, haven’t gone backpacking for more than 1 week at a time. I should have done this when I was 18 for a year...

Tattoo/motorcycle groups – don’t have either, really doubt I will ever get either.

Smokers – don’t smoke

Frat – out of college, don’t drink beer

Bar scene/Sports fan – don’t drink beer, no team to get behind

Church – not a big fan of organized religion

Political – Independent, too liberal for conservatives, too conservative for liberals

Beach – no beach near Ohio

Hippies – don’t smoke pot, not stoned enough

Techno ravers – don’t fit in, don’t do E

Volunteering – my schedule is too unreliable (I actually am doing this in April, but it is a one weekend thing with people from work)

Work people – great when traveling together, but everyone has their own life after work normally.

Gym/Exercise - This is a possibility, although travel makes it hard to be a regular.

Running - I run at weird times, in weird places. I don't run all that far or fast either. I run for fun, not for health or to push myself.

MySpace/craigslist/Internet personals - it is a long shot.

I would love to find a group of similar people that are fun to hang out with. It is what is missing from my life, and finding them is the second half of my two goals for this year. (The first is to get my life in order and organized, and I have been making good progress on that).

I guess the first thing is to define what I would want to do with a group of friends. Probably barbeques, mountain biking, camping trips, poker nights, road trips,...

How did you find people to hang out with when you moved to a new city? Has anybody else found any good groups? Or how do you go about forming a group of people that would all want to do something?
Well, without stating the obvious, no one has to like you or respect you.

I think in most cases, if a person has no friends then either it's because some aspect of his or her personality is repellent to others, or they have committed some kind of act which makes others shun them, or they simply don't want any friends, which is his or her choice after all.

In the first two cases, then a person can either make himself or herself more likeable and socialable, or move town. To me, being likeable is projecting a personable aura. Smile and make others like you, since no one else owes anybody else friendship.
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