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thespian86 · 02-28-2008, 04:06 PM

As I read the Mother-Child break ups my stomach starts to turn. My current girlfriend, my semi-high school sweet heart, now fiance, who I've been with for five years now has Mother problems, or should I say, I have them. To make a very long and over dramatic story short, her mother was a performer while she was growing up and was not home for two days out of the week. Because of this, she has come to the conclusion that complete control over her daughters affairs and decisions are a way of counter balancing this sob story. I have heard it over and over. I have no pity for her; my father was beaten as a child by his father and he is the greatest man I've ever met. He doesn't act like a child, throw fits by screaming and crying and slamming doors. He doesn't imply that all of the good decisions I've made in my life were a direct result of his guidance and without it I'd be nothing.

I look at the wonderful human being my fiance is and see the effects of her mother's words in her actions everyday. She wanted to pursue arts at a fine university that would of accepted her in a minute but her mother convinced her she wasn't smart enough (without using those words). She suffers from a mental illness that she has no control over, yet her mother constantly burdens her by making her feel as if she ruined said mother's life when she struggled in high school with said illness. She makes her feel irresponsible for spending a day shopping once every couple of months, even though she works two jobs without a word and smiles the whole time. She is unwarrantedly rude to me all of the time, making snide remarks which I don't comment on. Even simple things like "Can you take the picture, I just want family" are meant to hurt; I realize in many cases this isn't true but in this one it is.

I've spent so long putting up with her bizarre limitations on my GF as they not only affect her future, but my life as well. I can't ask my GF to not have her mother in her life because she loves her and that is why I have put up with it. They have a very strange friendship; I think it is emotionally abusive at times. I'm so worn out by walking on eggshells constantly.

Last week was the worst example thus far. I just began giving guitar lessons to children. My GF mother sat me down to discuss safety. She began by talking down to me for about twenty minutes, the whole time I nodded yes and replied to her, then began degrading one of the children because they are from a trailor park... I freaked... what do I do? I don't know?

Help... share experiences. Please

02-28-2008, 04:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Interfering Mother As I read the Mother-Child break ups my stomach starts to turn. My current girlfriend, my semi-high school sweet heart, now fiance, who I've been with for five years now has Mother problems, or should I say, I have them. To make a very long and over dramatic story short, her mother was a performer while she was growing up and was not home for two days out of the week. Because of this, she has come to the conclusion that complete control over her daughters affairs and decisions are a way of counter balancing this sob story. I have heard it over and over. I have no pity for her; my father was beaten as a child by his father and he is the greatest man I've ever met. He doesn't act like a child, throw fits by screaming and crying and slamming doors. He doesn't imply that all of the good decisions I've made in my life were a direct result of his guidance and without it I'd be nothing. I look at the wonderful human being my fiance is and see the effects of her mother's words in her actions everyday. She wanted to pursue arts at a fine university that would of accepted her in a minute but her mother convinced her she wasn't smart enough (without using those words). She suffers from a mental illness that she has no control over, yet her mother constantly burdens her by making her feel as if she ruined said mother's life when she struggled in high school with said illness. She makes her feel irresponsible for spending a day shopping once every couple of months, even though she works two jobs without a word and smiles the whole time. She is unwarrantedly rude to me all of the time, making snide remarks which I don't comment on. Even simple things like "Can you take the picture, I just want family" are meant to hurt; I realize in many cases this isn't true but in this one it is. I've spent so long putting up with her bizarre limitations on my GF as they not only affect her future, but my life as well. I can't ask my GF to not have her mother in her life because she loves her and that is why I have put up with it. They have a very strange friendship; I think it is emotionally abusive at times. I'm so worn out by walking on eggshells constantly. Last week was the worst example thus far. I just began giving guitar lessons to children. My GF mother sat me down to discuss safety. She began by talking down to me for about twenty minutes, the whole time I nodded yes and replied to her, then began degrading one of the children because they are from a trailor park... I freaked... what do I do? I don't know? Help... share experiences. Please __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.