Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Relationship has changed, even though she says no..

Kurant · 02-07-2008, 08:46 AM

Just to make the long story short, I was divorced about a little over a year ago. I've dated a few women, still sorta gun shy, as I took my divorce pretty hard.

I met this woman through work, and we talked a lot, about sex more then anything, and that's all it was supposed to ever be. We went out about 5 months ago, and no sex even took place, and it was the best time I've had in years going out. Over the next couple of months, I sort of let my guard down, and she just became more and more amazing. She was an incredible person, fun to be around, beautiful, and being around her was almost a divine sort of thing. It was really something special. About a month ago, she went to Colorado to visit her family, and go to her ex-husbands mom's court case. It's something she had to be at, the court told her so, and I knew about it long before anything with us ever took place. She went down there, and over then 10 days or so, I didn't really get to talk with her much. Which was fine, she was busy, besides being stressed out everyday about the court thing, she was enjoying the skiing, went to the X-games, etc.. etc..

She came back about 2 weeks ago, and since then, there has been an odd feeling of discomfort with us. The way she looks at me is different, the fact that I haven't seen her anywhere but at work since she came back. If I don't call her, it seems like she can go a day or two without talking to me, which she has. All thats fine,but when I asked her about it, she insisted to me that everything was the same, and she promised me everything would be fine. She always used to tell me it's the little things that make the difference in any relationship, and all the little things we used to do, like she would call me when I was already on the road at work and say good morning, or she'd text message me saying good night. Go have lunch when I was able to during my day, all those things have stopped. She still insists that everything is fine, and nothing changed.

Something has changed, I can't get her to tell me what. I don't give a shit about getting hurt, I just don't want to be strung along, or lied too. I was already in a relationship like that with my high school sweetheart for 3 of the 11 years we were together.

I just don't know what to say to get her to tell me, if she doesn't want me to call her anymore, or, go out anymore, or whatever it is, I can't get her to tell me that. But I also can't be in a relationship where I genuinely care for her, a lot. To the point where I could tell her I love her, and I'm not loved or cared for back. It's almost like shes afraid to tell me, and she needs to, I'm really about ready to walk. She knows this, I've told her this, and she still has insisted everything with her feelings are the same.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

02-07-2008, 08:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kurant Junkie Location: Don't worry about it.	Relationship has changed, even though she says no.. Just to make the long story short, I was divorced about a little over a year ago. I've dated a few women, still sorta gun shy, as I took my divorce pretty hard. I met this woman through work, and we talked a lot, about sex more then anything, and that's all it was supposed to ever be. We went out about 5 months ago, and no sex even took place, and it was the best time I've had in years going out. Over the next couple of months, I sort of let my guard down, and she just became more and more amazing. She was an incredible person, fun to be around, beautiful, and being around her was almost a divine sort of thing. It was really something special. About a month ago, she went to Colorado to visit her family, and go to her ex-husbands mom's court case. It's something she had to be at, the court told her so, and I knew about it long before anything with us ever took place. She went down there, and over then 10 days or so, I didn't really get to talk with her much. Which was fine, she was busy, besides being stressed out everyday about the court thing, she was enjoying the skiing, went to the X-games, etc.. etc.. She came back about 2 weeks ago, and since then, there has been an odd feeling of discomfort with us. The way she looks at me is different, the fact that I haven't seen her anywhere but at work since she came back. If I don't call her, it seems like she can go a day or two without talking to me, which she has. All thats fine,but when I asked her about it, she insisted to me that everything was the same, and she promised me everything would be fine. She always used to tell me it's the little things that make the difference in any relationship, and all the little things we used to do, like she would call me when I was already on the road at work and say good morning, or she'd text message me saying good night. Go have lunch when I was able to during my day, all those things have stopped. She still insists that everything is fine, and nothing changed. Something has changed, I can't get her to tell me what. I don't give a shit about getting hurt, I just don't want to be strung along, or lied too. I was already in a relationship like that with my high school sweetheart for 3 of the 11 years we were together. I just don't know what to say to get her to tell me, if she doesn't want me to call her anymore, or, go out anymore, or whatever it is, I can't get her to tell me that. But I also can't be in a relationship where I genuinely care for her, a lot. To the point where I could tell her I love her, and I'm not loved or cared for back. It's almost like shes afraid to tell me, and she needs to, I'm really about ready to walk. She knows this, I've told her this, and she still has insisted everything with her feelings are the same. What the hell am I supposed to do?