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Originally Posted by namako
How does one become adult? Or put another way how does one find who they are, become aware of what they want or want to do? How does one self-actualize? I apologize for this elementary question, but I'm new and finding my way. I don't know anyone like me. I am a person who knows so little about herself that I like to be what others would have me be. I like to create what others need/want in most any way. You want to fly to Bali, I'll ensure you have a ticket. You want me to go with you for an extended time, I will quit my job. Do you want a fat girl? I will overeat. Do you want a new book? I'll ensure it is in your hands. Blind? I will read it to you. I am a life slut. I believe happiness can be achieved, but personal fulfillment has me flummoxed. How does one go about feeling fulfilled without relying on others and their happiness?
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You're already an adult. I can relate to so much of what you're saying because you've spent so much time pleasing everyone else that you're not sure what you want. The kids are grown and it's empty nest time. That means it's YOUR TIME! That's a new concept, right?
Draw, write, express yourself. Surf the web, get out to libraries, art shows, museums... think about your childhood dreams. What was it you wanted? What is it you're thinking you're too old to do?
I'm not ashamed to say that I'm older than you, and I still have 2 of my 3 girls at home (one's still in middle school). But since I will have had 28 years of raising children when the youngest turns 18, I've had lots of time to think about what I want to accomplish, what will make me feel good.
Yes, it's all about me. It's your time to shine for YOU and no one else.
Take your time. It's probably staring you in the face or somewhere in the dark recesses of your mind. Something that inspires passion, joy and fulfillment. When you find it, you'll know.