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These are my thoughts on the situation given:
I realize that you have offered just a snap shot of her behavior and she must have other positive qualities for the relationship to have lasted three years. That said, this is *not* normal behavior and I don't believe you can convince her that you are faithful to the relationship, now or ever. Her lack of interest in forming casual friendships and her intense distrust of you suggest deeply held abandonment issues. Knowing something about her previous romantic relationships might say something as to how pervasive this behavior has been.
I really don't think you can *deal* with her in that she has rejected all of your previous attempts to reassure her. It might be best to move on in your life, but you are the only one that can judge that.
Good luck, and stay safe.
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"You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to." Molly Ivins - 1944-2007
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