Quote:
|
Originally Posted by robot_parade
Wow, lots of excellent responses.
I agree with those that point out that marriage is a completely different ballgame than a dating relationship. When you get married, part of what you agree to is to 'put up with' and work through a lot of the issues that would make you just give up in a dating relationship.
I just wonder if sometimes we might give up on - and encourage others to give up on - a dating relationship that could still be repaired and work out very positively with some effort.
Of course, we all know and have heard of people who've stayed in relationships that were clearly doomed for far too long.
So I'm not saying that the prevailing TFP opinion on these threads is wrong. I just think maybe we, as a community, might want to think about a more nuanced approach to these posts.
|
In my experience. Out of the hundreds of troubled relationships I've heard about I can count the number of them that actually manage to get better on one hand.
On the other hand, I constantly see men and women finding new and better love in fresh relationships.
On top of this about 95% of the time the issues are so expansive in nature that a "nuanced" approach is impossible. It's hard enough to open the mind of one person. Here we are dealing with trying to influence two people though one person who we are also trying to educate. Imagine having a classroom of just two kids. You have to teach them how to read but your only communication with the second child is though the first one.
In my opinion the best possible advice you can give anyone is to seek counseling. We have this idea of relationship therapy being something of a dire last resort but the truth is that even the best couples can learn allot from a visit to such a professional.