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Originally Posted by JinnKai
I'd investigate what it takes to place a restraining order and what it takes to enter a Witness Protection / Anonymity program, as you may need both to escape this woman.
She is toxic. It's well-known, well-documented and personally observed by yours truly that children of broken homes carry a great deal of their learned behaviors into adulthood. This means that should be acting just like her mother in 5-10 years. Do you really want to be with her mother?
The only cases in which I've witnessed a demonstrative change between the learned behavior of the parents and their children is when the adult child makes a determined decision to not only avoid acting as their parents did, but develop their OWN ways of dealing with situations.
She's trouble, and I can promise you that you'll only be ruining your own life by 'experiencing' anything with her.
I'd also throw in a healthy dose of counseling for you; particularly for what appears to be an unhealthy codependency. Attending a group like Alanon would likewise help - even though you didn't identify her as an alcoholic - the roles being played out here are much like those between an Alcoholic parent and their child, or an abusive spouse and the recipient.
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How sad of you to make such a generalization of people who come from broken homes. Now days everyone has a horror story of their oohh so bad upbringing, it's like a conversation starter at parties! Unfortunately not everyone comes from that TV family that you obviously were fortunate enough to hail from.
Although it is true that some parents fuck their kids up in such a way that they are unable to ever recover, I am a firm believer that this is not always the case. Matter o fact it is proven to me daily in my work. OP: If you are determined to make a go of this, sit down with her and set clear expectations and boundaries. It seems that when she moved with you she made some pretty positive life changes which shows she is capable of living a stable life style, a woman like that shouldn’t be deemed disposable because she made a poor decision while drinking. Relationships require work, if she is worth it to you, then it is time to put in work. Good luck to you, remember there is a child involved here so the decisions you are making don’t just affect the two of you but indeed impact the development of this little girl. You two have a perfect opportunity to show this girl what a positive, healthy relationship is and encouraging her to find one when she matures. That in itself will break the so-called broken home cycle previously stated.