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Originally Posted by Seer666
One question before I formulate an answer. How much of this have you said to her? My first response to people that dump on me like that would be "I'm not the reason you grandfather died so when the hell are you treating me like it?" Calling her out on this, hopefully with more tact then I would, is the first thing you should do. If you were close with the man in any way before he died, simply stating that you miss him to next time she goes off may steer things in the right direction. If you can't work this on your own, get counseling, or get a lawyer.
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She's aware of all of it. Like I said, she's a brick wall and talking to her when she's upset is pretty much useless.
And STBX does mean "soon to be ex" by the way. Picked it up on another site.