james t kirk

I was thinking the exact same thing.

Way too much bullshit for me to ever deal with.

Here's my take on your situation - which is worth nothing by the way.

You have very little experience with women. You've been with the same woman since high school by the sounds of it and she was your first love. I know when I was in University, I met what I thought was the girl of my dreams. Tall, slim, beautiful, intelligent, I loved her so much I would have died for her. I was 20, she was 19. We were just a couple of kids who lived with our parents, who met in first year physics class. It was like I was struck by lightning the first time I saw her. Everytime I was walking around campus and saw her, my heart would speed up. I finally got up enough nerve to speak to her once when she was talking about a a physics assignment as being "easy". I said to her, "I don't think it was easy, I'd say it was doable, but not easy" (Meanwhile she had me freaked out because it took a lot out of me to complete that assignment.)

Anyway, I'm getting off track, however, know this. She was my first love and I was crazy about her. As time went on, I put up with more and more of her bullshit because I was so in love with her. She finally dumped me after 3 years because she felt like a train on a track and that track was leading to marriage and all that middle class stuff and she just didn't want it. I was devestated. However, the fact of the matter is that if by some miracle she and I had of married, I am 100% certain that I would have ended up standing on the parapet of the skyway bridge in Burlington (about 200 feet off of the water). We were doomed to failure for sure, and honestly, not because of me or my ways.

As strange as this might sound, from what you have described, I would say that God (and I am using that term strictly metaphorically speaking) is doing you a favour. You might not see it just now, but in time, you will. She sounds like a bundle of insecurity and if you were to stay with her, you'd forever feel like you were walking on eggshells around her. Always having to be so careful of her and her feelings. You can't live that way, it will wear you out.

You sound like a fairly intelligent guy. If you stick to your guns, eventually your work thing will sort itself out with time and experience. Working in the so called corporate world, I can assure you that one of the hardest things to find is someone who can think independently and execute. Your time will come there my friend.

This sounds like a chiche, however, you will meet other women. Other women who will tell you that they are proud of you and that they feel happy to be with you.