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viveleroi0 · 06-03-2003, 06:29 PM

My soon to be wife has one major issue that we can't seem to get past...

For three years, because of her low self-esteem about her body, she has resorted to asking me which girls I think are hot.

I damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't.

I have to honestly say that she is a tad overweight, etc, but she still does appear attractive to me. Out of respect I have almost always said no when she asks if I think this movie star is cute, or that is cute. Occasionally I say maybe... which defies my own pattern.

If I say yes (because I honestly find 90% of all women she asks about attractive) then I'm screwed... she thinks that means I am more able to cheat and that I dont appreciate her.

If I say no all the time... she knows I am lying for her benefit.

The FEW times I said maybe she gets all pissy and depressed and it kills to me!

She complains about her eating habits, her looks, etc but never does jack squat. She barely ever works out or anything... obviouly she lacks the drive to change what is wrong.

I on the other hand would offer to take runs each night if my schedule permitted it, but it doesn't.

I have told her how annoying her asking for every woman gets, yet she stills does it. I have said a thousand how nice she looks etc but she never believes me.

She is also a person who gets VERY upset at where we live... after a few months she hates it and wants to move... we've moved like 8 times in the last three years.

I was once depressed myself and I understand the signs... but not these. Now, I live my life very happily and understand the facts that what I don't like does not have to be if I am willing to act upon them... but I cannot find a way to show her that life is only what YOU make it.

Girls... is this normal for a girl? I know self-esteem issues are commin with women but not like this. I have never cheated, I express my deepest feeling of how wrong it is... etc but she still has cheating dreams etc. She has never been cheated on either.

What can I do to help her see the world is not as bad as she thinks?

06-03-2003, 06:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
viveleroi0 Psycho Location: Oregon	another woman problem My soon to be wife has one major issue that we can't seem to get past... For three years, because of her low self-esteem about her body, she has resorted to asking me which girls I think are hot. I damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't. I have to honestly say that she is a tad overweight, etc, but she still does appear attractive to me. Out of respect I have almost always said no when she asks if I think this movie star is cute, or that is cute. Occasionally I say maybe... which defies my own pattern. If I say yes (because I honestly find 90% of all women she asks about attractive) then I'm screwed... she thinks that means I am more able to cheat and that I dont appreciate her. If I say no all the time... she knows I am lying for her benefit. The FEW times I said maybe she gets all pissy and depressed and it kills to me! She complains about her eating habits, her looks, etc but never does jack squat. She barely ever works out or anything... obviouly she lacks the drive to change what is wrong. I on the other hand would offer to take runs each night if my schedule permitted it, but it doesn't. I have told her how annoying her asking for every woman gets, yet she stills does it. I have said a thousand how nice she looks etc but she never believes me. She is also a person who gets VERY upset at where we live... after a few months she hates it and wants to move... we've moved like 8 times in the last three years. I was once depressed myself and I understand the signs... but not these. Now, I live my life very happily and understand the facts that what I don't like does not have to be if I am willing to act upon them... but I cannot find a way to show her that life is only what YOU make it. Girls... is this normal for a girl? I know self-esteem issues are commin with women but not like this. I have never cheated, I express my deepest feeling of how wrong it is... etc but she still has cheating dreams etc. She has never been cheated on either. What can I do to help her see the world is not as bad as she thinks? __________________ "It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care" - Homer Simpson